This is going to be one of the most hard confession for me to make -
- I did my 12 standard from CBSE board back in 2008 and got 54% marks and that really sets the tone that I'm terrible at studies from the get go. I got exact 33 marks in Mathematics in my 12th standard and I know, which surely involves mercy grace marks of the teacher who checked my exam back then. Point being, till now in 2017, I did not know calculas and I just read probability and set theory and algebra in November 2016 and I still have to study Linear Algebra for the first time in my life and so does calculas.
- Then in 2008 I got accepted to a third tier college in my state to do my B.Tech in CSE and honestly speaking I never read any standard books in all 4 years, well, at that time I didn't knew there are any standard books. I came to know about standard books in 2016. Anyways, I only read sample papers in all my 4 years and cleared my B.Tech degree in 2012 with 77%. Though I had such a poor foundation in mathematics from the 11th standard, I got reappear in Engineering Mathematics, but I never got a reappear in any core of CS subjects. To be honest, I only came to know about something as core CS subjects in 2016 itself when I joined Quora and GO!
- Then in 2012 I completed my B.Tech and till this date 31-03-2017 I have not learnt any programming language and not even C and I have never wrote any program in my life and even I don't know how to write 'A Hello World Program"
- Back in 2012 I gave GATE for first time and got 20 marks and was Unqualified. Then in 2012 itself I got into a 3rd tier college in my state again to do my Masters in CS; M.Tech. I was selected because my state Technical University had some counseling seats on the basis of B.Tech percentage.
- Then 2012 - 2014 I did my Masters and still haven't read any standard books and only read Sample papers and my Masters ended in 2014.
- BTW, even after my Masters, I still haven't learnt any Programming language or Mathematics.
- Then in 2016 - I gave GATE for 2nd time after making notes of 3 -4 subjects in very detail from NPTEL lectures and Ravi Sir video, Yes, all my life I never had broadband and then we got the broadband in 2014 or something and then I didn't knew much about that people even taught on NPTEL or there's something called NPTEL.. When I saw upload date of Kamla Ma'am from IIT Madras' TOC lecture was 2008, I was like, if I had known about Youtube and NPTEL, may be today I'll be someone different because my college was so terrible, that no one even placed beyond 20K in 2012.
- In 2016 - I got 13 marks and then in 2016 after gate exam I had some major life crisis and got back on my feet in December 2016.
- Anyways, for the first time - I have had made notes in my notebooks for 8 subjects, only Data Structure and Linear Algebra is missing and C programming in 2017.
- I took and still takes me 2 to 3 months to make notes of each subject because I literally has start from 12th standard all over again.
- I never solved any previous year question nor I took any test series. So, I no have no exposure to problem solving. From 2015 May, I have been into preparing notes and I still left with 2-3 subjects.
- Each subject notes takes 5-8 registers of medium size and around 2-3 months to complete one subject and I never even get time to revise my subjects around GATE as i keep making notes till Decmeber.!
- In 2017 I gave GATE again and got 16.2 marks and still UNQUALIFIED.
- Recently, well last night I heard a WEBNAIR on coursehunt.com and came to know I have read subjects in wrong manner, like i did ADA without knowing a thing about C programming and DS and that's why I don't get complexities or anything much and I did DMBS before doing Set Theory.
Anyways, so, is there a hope for me?! I never understood how toppers only make notes in 2 registers for whole 10 subjects and only study for 5-6 months and get so many marks.
For me getting 30 marks is like getting AIR 1.
Any senior member please guide me what should I do, that I make something out of myself. I know, you'd be making mockery or I am sounding like a laughing stock, but I still not giving up! PERSISTENCE!
Lastly, Thank you everyone, even in my 13 marks and 16 marks, I still owe a lot to GO community as they answered my very trivial questions like how to Boolean Table for 3 variables!