After four GATE attempts spanning from third year BTech through two drop years, I finally secured admission to IIT Kanpur for the MS(R) program in the CSE department with an AIR of 1086. As I prepare to join IIT Kanpur, I want to share my story–not as a success manual, but as a testament to the power of perseverance and the beauty of slow, steady growth. This is a journey that taught me that sometimes the longest paths lead to the most meaningful destinations.
The Beginning: When Dreams Meet Reality
My GATE journey began in my third year of BTech, filled with the typical enthusiasm that every engineering student carries. Inspired by the topper interviews on YouTube, I believed success would come quickly. I thought a few months of dedicated preparation would unlock the doors to India's premier institutes. What I didn't understand then was that I was approaching learning as if it were a transaction–put in effort, receive results–rather than recognizing it as a transformation that happens within us.
That first attempt taught me my foundational lesson: dreaming creates direction, but preparation requires a discipline I hadn't yet developed. I didn't qualify, and the result was predictable disappointment. Yet within that disappointment I began to sense that quick fixes and shortcut strategies wouldn't serve me here. Real preparation, I was beginning to learn, meant developing new ways of thinking rather than just accumulating information.
This initial failure forced me to confront a fundamental question: was I seeking to pass an exam, or was I seeking to become someone capable of handling the challenges that lay beyond it?
The Second Attempt: The Quiet Improvements
My fourth year of BTech brought my second GATE attempt, and with it, a subtle but crucial shift in perspective. I approached preparation with slightly more humility, beginning to understand that the syllabus was vast and overwhelming, and mastery in computer science requires building strong foundations, thinking logically about problems, and seeing how apparently separate concepts actually work together.
Once again, I didn't qualify, but something important was happening beneath the surface. I was learning to distinguish between recognizing a concept and truly understanding it. When I encountered a problem I couldn't solve, instead of moving quickly to the next topic, I began spending more time asking why I couldn't solve it. This shift from surface-level coverage to depth-oriented understanding was subtle but foundational.
The lack of qualification was disheartening, but I began to understand that meaningful learning often happens in ways that aren't immediately visible in test scores. Like a tree developing its root system before showing dramatic growth above ground, my understanding was deepening even when external measures didn't reflect it yet.
Each attempt was quietly building something inside me that I couldn't see at that time: the ability to handle failure without getting crushed, to understand my shortcomings without thinking that's all I am, and to keep going even when the future seemed uncertain.
The First Drop Year: Chasing Dreams and Facing Reality
Taking a drop after graduation felt like admitting defeat to the world. Friends were starting their careers, social media was filled with success celebrations, and here I was, preparing for the same exam for the third time. The self-doubt was overwhelming and performance anxiety was real.
During this period, I also spent considerable time researching graduate programs abroad. I invested days exploring requirements, application processes, and costs for international universities. The research process was exhausting and time-consuming, but I felt I needed to explore every possible avenue for my graduate education.
What I discovered was both enlightening and sobering. Most quality programs abroad required either substantial financial resources that my family couldn't afford, or the exceptional academic credentials that I didn't possess. Sometimes both were necessary just to secure admission.
Initially, this felt like time wasted when I could have been focusing entirely on GATE preparation. But looking back, this exploration served an important purpose. It helped me understand my priorities more clearly and reinforced my commitment to the path I was already on. The research taught me that sometimes the path you're already walking is exactly where you need to be. This experience also taught me the importance of focused preparation–trying to keep too many options open can dilute your efforts from the main goal.
This year taught me something crucial about preparation. I learned that improvement isn't always visible immediately. It's like water slowly filling a vessel. You don't see the change until suddenly the vessel overflows. My third attempt finally bore fruit with an AIR of 3060. While this was a significant improvement from not qualifying in the previous two attempts, it still wasn't enough for the top institutions I aspired to join.
However, something had changed within me. I was no longer the same person who started this journey two years ago. The struggle had taught me patience, the repeated attempts had taught me resilience, and the slow progress had taught me the value of incremental growth. More importantly, this rank opened my eyes to a possibility I hadn't been aware of before–the research-oriented MS(R)/MTech(RA) programs that would ultimately become my destination.
The Final Push: Finding Strength in Community and Purpose
During my second drop year, I realized I had been overcomplicating my preparation. I was trying to master everything perfectly instead of building consistent, solid understanding. This fourth attempt required me to simplify my approach, but more importantly, it introduced me to resources and communities that would transform my entire preparation strategy.
It was during this final attempt that I fully embraced GO Classes and GateOverflow, and these platforms became the turning point of my preparation. The teachings of Deepak Poonia Sir and Sachin Mittal Sir made understanding complex concepts effortless with their highly detailed lectures filled with depth of knowledge. Their approach helped me move beyond superficial memorization to genuine comprehension of each and every concept or algorithm that I had learned.
I didn't just use GateOverflow passively for solutions–I became an active contributor, regularly commenting and explaining concepts to help other fellow aspirants. This engagement proved to be far more valuable than I initially realized. When I explained a concept to someone else on the platform, I had to think through every possible counter-question that could arise from my explanation. This forced me to understand topics at a much deeper level than when I was just solving problems for myself.
The process of breaking down complex ideas into simpler explanations for fellow aspirants dramatically improved my own critical thinking and analytical skills. The sense of satisfaction I got from helping someone understand a difficult concept kept me motivated throughout the preparation.
More importantly, I interacted with amazing mentors and fellow aspirants who provided guidance and support throughout the journey. When Deepak Sir started solving my doubts on GateOverflow, that was another big motivating moment for me. Since then, Deepak Sir constantly supported me and solved many of my doubts. I am also very thankful for the constant support and guidance that Shaik Masthan Sir and Ankit Gupta Sir provided throughout my preparation.
As winter admission cycles opened at various IISc and IIT programs, I faced another strategic decision about how to use my time and energy. Many of these winter programs required traveling to different cities for in-person written tests and interviews at their respective campuses. After thinking thoroughly, I realized that extensive travel and the associated disruption wouldn't serve my primary goal of preparing thoroughly for my final GATE attempt.
However, I did participate in some online assessments and one interview when they were available. These interactions proved valuable in an unexpected way–not because they led to admissions, but because they revealed specific gaps in my conceptual understanding. Each challenging question in the interview became a learning opportunity. The interviewers' feedback and the areas where I struggled helped me identify exactly what I needed to work on. This experience taught me that sometimes the real value from an opportunity comes not from succeeding immediately, but from understanding precisely what success would require and using that knowledge to improve.
In this attempt, I mainly focused on understanding concepts deeply rather than memorizing them. I practiced previous year questions not just to solve them, but to understand the thinking behind them. The detailed discussions on GateOverflow helped clarify doubts that had persisted for years, and my active participation in these discussions sharpened my understanding in ways that solitary study never could have achieved.
The community aspect of GateOverflow made what could have been an isolating journey feel collaborative and purposeful. This attempt yielded my best GATE score yet with an AIR of 1086. While I had hoped for a rank under 300, this score was initially disappointing, but it proved to be exactly what I needed. It was sufficient to get me shortlisted for the MS(R)/MTech(RA) programs at IISc/IITs that I was genuinely interested in pursuing. Sometimes what initially appears as falling short of our goals is actually arriving at a better destination than we had originally imagined.
This rank opened doors for me to participate in the selection process at these premier institutions: IIT Madras (CS/WSAI), IIT Bombay (CS/CMInDS), IISc Bangalore (CDS), IIT Delhi (CS/YSAI), IIT Hyderabad (CS/AI), and finally, IIT Kanpur (CS).
The Selection Marathon: Rejections, Heartbreak, and the Unexpected Destination
The selection process at each institute involved multiple stages. Most had written assessments–programming tests, computer-based or pen-paper MCQ tests, or combinations of both–followed by interviews for shortlisted candidates. Starting with IIT Madras and IIT Bombay, and moving through each institute, I faced the reality that clearing GATE was just the beginning.
Each written test and programming assessment brought its own challenges. The failures came just after these initial screening stages, meaning I didn't make it to the interview rounds at most institutes. The pattern was similar across institutes–I would give my best effort in the written assessments, yet still face rejection. Each failure stung, but I kept moving to the next opportunity, knowing that persistence was the only way forward.
The rejection which hit me the hardest was the one that came from IISc Bangalore. I had cleared their written test and programming assessment, making it to the interview round for the first time. I actually confirmed my name twice with the respective faculty, and for the first time in my admission journey, I was happy and a little relaxed. IISc had always been my dream institution–the idea of pursuing research in that environment excited me more than anything else.
I waited for my turn to come till 8PM at night, and when finally my turn came, the interview didn't go as planned. I had waited for that opportunity for so long–not for hours but for years–and when the rejection came, it felt like the end of the road. Here was my dream college, I had made it closer than ever before, and yet it slipped away. The disappointment was crushing, and for the first time in my journey, I seriously considered whether I should continue. Adding to the despair, two more failures at IIT Delhi and IIT Hyderabad were waiting for me.
As I reflected on the similar pattern of rejections across multiple institutes, I began to understand a crucial mistake I had been making throughout the selection process. Each institution had actually provided comprehensive information about their specific selection procedures on their admission portals–detailed syllabi for written tests, sample papers, faculty research areas, programming environment details, and even mock tests to help candidates familiarize themselves with their evaluation approach.
All this information was readily available, but I hadn't used it strategically. In the rush of preparing for multiple selection processes simultaneously, I had treated all these resources as generic preparation materials rather than institution-specific intelligence. I realized too late that the sample papers weren't just practice materials–they were each institute's way of communicating exactly what they expected from candidates, how they approached problem-solving, and what level of depth they were looking for.
By not engaging deeply with these materials, I was essentially preparing for a general computer science assessment rather than understanding what IIT Madras specifically valued versus what IIT Bombay was looking for. It wasn't just about having the knowledge–it was about demonstrating that knowledge in the specific way each institute wanted to see it. This realization taught me something profound about the difference between being prepared and being ready. Preparation involves acquiring knowledge and skills, but readiness involves understanding the specific context in which those skills will be evaluated.
IIT Kanpur had a different selection process from other institutes. They conducted a two-hour programming test followed by a separate two-hour computer-based MCQ test. The final selection was based on 70% GATE score plus 30% performance in the written tests and programming assessment combined. After the crushing disappointment at IISc, I wasn't sure if I had the emotional energy to give my best effort.
But something inside me refused to give up. Maybe it was the four years of preparation, maybe it was the stubborn belief that this journey had to lead somewhere meaningful, or perhaps it was the support and belief in me that I had received from my family, friends, my mentors, and all the people who are dear to me. I appeared for both tests at IIT Kanpur, giving everything I had left.
The beautiful irony is that IIT Kanpur, the founding institute for computer science education in India, became my destination. Not because it was my first choice, but because I had the courage to continue when everything seemed lost. Sometimes the path we end up taking is exactly where we were meant to be.
Reflections: What Four Years of Struggle Taught Me
Looking back at this four-year journey, I realize that each attempt wasn't a failure–it was building something within me that no quick success could have created. My third-year self wouldn't have been ready for IIT Kanpur, not only because of knowledge gaps, but because I hadn't developed the resilience that this journey demanded.
The patience I learned while waiting for slow improvements taught me that real growth happens in ways we can't immediately see. The persistence through multiple attempts showed me that success isn't about talent alone–it's about refusing to quit when quitting seems reasonable. Each rejection stopped being personal after a while. Instead, they became data points helping me understand what I needed to work on.
The GateOverflow community played a huge role here, providing not just solutions but the kind of detailed discussions that help you think about problems differently. The experience of actively contributing to GateOverflow taught me that helping others is one of the most effective ways to deepen your own understanding. When you're forced to explain a concept clearly enough that someone else can grasp it, you inevitably discover gaps in your own knowledge and work to fill them.
While the community proved pivotal in my journey, the emotional bedrock came from family support that sustained everything else. My family had initially been concerned about the extended preparation period, as most Indian families naturally are. But as they witnessed my genuine dedication–the long hours, consistent effort, and sincere struggles with difficult concepts–their support grew stronger. They recognized that my journey was genuine, not an excuse to avoid responsibility. When your family and friends see that your struggle is real and your effort is sincere, their belief in you becomes a powerful source of strength during the most challenging phases.
This journey also taught me to redefine success. Success isn't just about getting the highest rank or the most prestigious college–it's about growing into someone who can handle challenges with grace, who can persist through uncertainty, and who can find meaning in the struggle itself. It's about developing the capacity to contribute to others' growth while pursuing your own.
For Those Still Walking This Path
If you're reading this while preparing for your own attempts, especially if it's taking longer than expected, remember that your timeline is not wrong–it's uniquely yours. The world might try to convince you that multiple attempts mean you're not smart enough, but the world doesn't understand that some journeys are meant to be longer because they're building something more valuable than quick success.
I know students who cleared GATE in their first attempt and are doing well. I also know that my four-attempt journey gave me something different: unshakeable confidence in my ability to persist, deep understanding born from repeated study, and the knowledge that I can face any challenge if I refuse to give up.
The path isn't easy because life doesn't pause for our dreams. Friends start careers, family members ask tough questions, social pressure builds, and most of the time we create self-imposed performance pressure ourselves. We keep unrealistic expectations from ourselves and FOMO haunts us. But keep walking forward, one step at a time–that is the ultimate remedy to all these.
Don't rush through topics just to complete the syllabus. It's better to understand fewer concepts deeply than to go through everything superficially. When I started focusing on truly understanding why an algorithm works instead of just memorizing the steps, my problem-solving improved dramatically.
Find your learning community, whether it's online forums like GateOverflow or study groups with friends. The journey feels less overwhelming when you can discuss doubts and share experiences with others walking the same path. More importantly, become an active contributor to these communities. Don't just consume content–create it. Answer questions, explain concepts, engage in meaningful discussions. This active participation will deepen your understanding in ways that passive learning cannot achieve.
When solving problems, always ask yourself why a particular approach works. What concept is being tested? How would the solution change if we modified one condition? This kind of thinking builds the flexibility you need for unseen problems in the actual exam.
Also take care of your mental health throughout this journey. The pressure can be intense, especially during multiple attempts. Find healthy ways to cope, whether through exercise, hobbies, or simply talking to people who understand your situation. Don't hesitate to lean on your family and friends when the pressure becomes overwhelming–their belief in you often provides clarity that you can't find alone. During my toughest phases, I found that taking short breaks to drink water and relax, going for a walk, or having brief conversations with family members helped me return to studies with a clearer mind.
Most importantly, learn from each attempt without dwelling on what went wrong. Analyze your performance, identify gaps, and adjust your strategy. Don't just repeat the same preparation methods expecting different results. Each attempt should represent an evolution in your approach, not just a repetition of previous efforts.
The Journey Continues
As I prepare to join IIT Kanpur, I'm filled not just with the relief that the struggle is over, but with gratitude for what it taught me, completely acknowledging that this is just a small step in the bigger scheme of things.
My journey through multiple ups and downs taught me that persistence isn't just about reaching the destination–it's about becoming the person worthy of that destination along the way. The person who started this journey in third year and the one writing this today are completely different. The journey shaped me in ways that no quick success could have achieved.
The most important lesson this journey taught me is that sometimes not giving up is itself the greatest achievement. Whether you succeed in one attempt or several, what matters is that you don't let temporary setbacks become permanent surrenders. Sometimes the longest journeys teach us the most valuable lessons about ourselves and about what we're capable of achieving when we refuse to quit.
I want to emphasize that this blog isn't intended to provide a roadmap for success, but rather to offer assurance that there exists a path forward for everyone willing to persist. Your journey may look different from mine, but the principles remain constant: patience with the process, engagement with community, commitment to deep understanding, and the courage to continue when continuation seems difficult.
Keep walking, dear friends. Your destination is waiting for you, just as IIT Kanpur was waiting for me. Trust in the process, even when you can't see the outcome. Growth is happening within you, even when external measures don't reflect it yet.
With my best wishes, I leave you with this beautiful poetry "Antim Unchai" written by Kunwar Narayan in his book "Apne Sapne" and most notably referenced in the web series "Aspirants". These lines perfectly capture the essence of what I learned–that conquering the final peak isn't just about reaching the top, but about developing the strength to not give up along the way:
दुर्गम वनों और ऊँचे पर्वतों को जीतते हुए
जब तुम अंतिम ऊँचाई को भी जीत लोगे—
जब तुम्हें लगेगा कि कोई अंतर नहीं बचा अब
तुममें और उन पत्थरों की कठोरता में
जिन्हें तुमने जीता है—
जब तुम अपने मस्तक पर बर्फ़ का पहला तूफ़ान झेलोगे
और काँपोगे नहीं—
तब तुम पाओगे कि कोई फ़र्क़
नहीं सब कुछ जीत लेने में
और अंत तक हिम्मत न हारने में।
— कुँवर नारायण
This blog is dedicated to everyone who has ever felt that their journey is taking too long, to those who have faced rejection and wondered if they should continue, and to the beautiful community at GateOverflow that makes this challenging journey a little less lonely.
